


Comfort In Delusion

by Anonymous



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Emotional Hurt, Grief/Mourning, Love, M/M, Moving On, Not Beta Read, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:33:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26712250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Nines was no longer the same person he used to be prior to his lover’s death.He tries his best to cope, resorting to a reconstruction of Gavin within his Zen Garden, yet he knows he must move on as much as he wants to stay.
Relationships: Upgraded Connor | RK900/Gavin Reed
Comments: 6
Kudos: 31
Collections: Anonymous





	Comfort In Delusion

**Author's Note:**

> sad and hopeless, hope you enjoy :)

Nines accepted his lover’s death a long time ago.

At first, he couldn’t feel a thing, he couldn’t feel the pain and grief that it should have caused him. And that frustrated him, he thought he was dysfunctional, broken for not feeling anything in regards to the detective’s death. He threw himself into his work, had arrested the ones responsible for it yet he couldn’t feel a damn thing. Instead of being satisfied with locking away the ones who caused his lover’s death, Nines wasn’t satisfied at all.

Not in the _slightest_.

He didn’t understand why he wasn’t satisfied after all the nights he spent at the precinct, pursing the case that had gotten his lover killed.

And then one night it finally struck him. Even if he locked up the ones who had murdered his dearest, it wouldn’t bring Gavin back. Nothing would bring his detective back, and he knew that, he had known it from the very start. He no longer felt emotions to the same degree ever since his lover had died, and he suppressed them for a long time until they finally came flooding out.

He misses Gavin more than anything.

Nines would do anything to see him again, to hold his lover one more time, to hear the man’s drowsy voice after having woken up, to kiss those lips once more.

And that he did, diving deep into his mind palace, reconstructing his lover from his own knowledge and experiences. It was nice within his mind palace, strolling around the blossoming rose garden, fingers intertwined with Gavin’s, tightly. It almost felt too real down there, and yet Nines knew he couldn’t stay here forever as much as he wanted to.

He hadn’t accepted his lover’s death at all.

Nines takes a deep breath, finally finding the strength to loosen his grip on his lover’s hand, trying to find the right words to say.

“Nines? What’s wrong, babe?” his lover had asked, quick to question the android’s actions. Usually, Nines would cling to him for hours upon hours once he entered his mind palace. Not once had they had a discussion yet Gavin could tell there was something on his mind, and he was eager to find out what that was.

“I need to stop coming down here,” Nines starts, and his resolve wavers once he sees the pained expression written across his lover’s features, his hand immediately reaching out to cradle Gavin’s face.

“You don’t need to stop,” the reconstruction of his lover pleads and Nines is quick to withdraw his hand from the man’s face, shifting his gaze elsewhere.

Nines knew he couldn’t do this, not when he’s become so dependent on this reconstruction of Gavin.

“You don’t need to leave, Nines. Don’t go back to reality, stay here with me, please, I need you,” his lover practically begs, and Nines can’t help but shake, not wanting to leave yet knew that it was for the better. He couldn’t stay with the reconstruction of Gavin forever, he couldn’t escape the reality that his lover was forever gone as much as he wanted to.

He knows that Gavin wouldn’t _ever_ act like this.

His lover would have wanted him to move on by now yet it still troubled him after all these years.

He won’t find somebody like Gavin ever again, he most likely won’t love ever again, and the moment that he deletes his reconstruction of Gavin, he plans to wipe his memories of the man as well.

A fresh start, forgetting all the heartache he had endured for years.

Nines wishes that there was another way, that he could bring the reconstruction to life yet he knows that is selfish of him to ask for.

He shifts his gaze from the floor to the eyes of his lover, gazing down at the man he loves so dearly, trying his best to muster up a smile despite how wrecked he felt within, “You know as much as I do, my love, that I cannot keep doing this. The more I come down here, the more I lose track of reality, of time, of everything.”

“I can’t keep doing this, knowing that one day, I could decide to stay here forever,” Nines pushes the words out.

“There’s nothing to go back to, Nines.” his lover quips back.

He knows that.

Nines knows that more than anything, that he’ll likely have to move elsewhere to achieve a fresh start. His relationships have been long ruined, for years, and he doesn’t plan on fixing them, instead, he’ll let them decay as he becomes nothing more than a memory to those who once knew him. He’ll request a transfer to a precinct far away from Detroit, and leave everything behind him.

Wipe his memories once he arrives elsewhere.

“Even if there’s nothing to go back to, I need to move on, my love,” he pauses, gauging the man’s reaction to his words, his heart squeezing painfully from the pain written all over his lover’s face before continuing once more, “I need to get over you, my dear. The sooner, the better.”

The man’s gaze shifts away from Nines and he’s quick to notice the tears trickling down Gavin’s cheeks, reaching down to wipe them away, gently, hearing his lover choke out, “I can’t keep you here, Nines. Please don’t ever forget me.”

Nines won’t tell him about his plans to erase his memories, and instead, listens to the reconstruction of his lover sob quietly, knowing that he wouldn’t be here ever again. So he holds him one last time, cradling the man against his chest, trying to comfort the reconstruction of Gavin, listening to the man’s heartbeat steadily against his own, the sobs quieting down overtime.

It’s not long before it’s nighttime within the zen garden, and here they are, cradling each other in the grass, gazing up at the starry night sky, smiling despite it all.

“I’m going to miss you, my love.”

“I’m gonna miss you too, tin can.”

Their lips meet one last time.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments are always appreciated :)


End file.
